How I Jason Segel became my Funny Valentine (and also, homemade pizza)

I wasn’t going to post anything about Valentine’s Day.  My day was pretty uneventful.  I went to school, came home, talked to Emily M., talked to my mom, wrote a paper, made a pizza (Italian Sausage and Pepperoni), drank a portion of a glass of cheap red wine, and fell asleep to Secretariat on Netflix.  When I woke up this morning and checked all my forms of social media, I saw something too similar to be a coincidence, so at the urging of Emily M., I decided to post about my Valentine’s Day, after all.

Those of you who know me, know about my not-so-secret crush on the actor Jason Segel.  My first exposure to him was on Freaks and Geeks.  I think my friend, Savanna, and I probably were about half of the people who actually watched the show when it was on air.  We each had our own crush on the show.  Hers was Daniel Desario (played by a young James Franco).  Mine was Nick Andopolis (played by a young Jason Segel).  Nick Andopolis taught me how to approach unrequited love.   There’s one episode where he speak-sings the song “Lady” to his girlfriend, Lindsay.  It’s one of those cases where he’s way more into her than she is him, and she feels super awkward about it all.  At the time, I didn’t quite get that part of it.  I just saw it as the ultimate act of love.  I started practicing routines to different songs.  It seems like they were all to Marvin Gaye songs.  Not any of the gross ones.  Usually just “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”  You guys, for real.  I was (am) a Smooth Operator.  Luckily, I never had the guts to go through with the “ultimate act of love.”  Nick and Lindsay broke up so he wrote her a song called “Lady L” but before he could sing it for her, Ken (Seth Rogen) smashed his guitar.  I feel like the entire show kind of did for me what Ken did for Nick.  I mean that in the very best way possible.

I first saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall when my dad was having surgery in Omaha.  It was right after I had worked on a campaign, so I was living at home.  Both of my parents were gone, and I was home alone worrying the entire first day.  Then I decided to pour a glass of Johnny Walker Blue (Sorry, Dad) and order FSM on pay-per-view.  I pretty much laughed straight through from beginning to end.  Anyone who writes a Dracula puppet musical is okay in my book.  I mean, it is truly one of the most amazing things ever.  With each scene of that movie, I fell more and more for Peter Bretter.  I starts out as having an enormous amount of pity for him.  He does, after all, get dumped while he’s naked.  Then things just get hilarious.  Maybe someday I’ll just do a post on my favorite scenes from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  I have an embarrassingly large amount of that movie memorized.  According to iTunes, I have watched the digital copy of FSM 16 times.  For now, I’m just going to let you guys watch probably my favorite scene from the movie.  This is kind of what happens when I make up songs.  Except usually I’m not around my piano.  Also, I’m a lot nicer to myself.

A little over a year ago my dad was diagnosed with liver disease and it was a really hard and scary time for me.  I felt like I was doing a pretty good job of keeping my emotions in check.  With school and stuff, I didn’t really have time to get emotional or depressed so I just kept every thing in.  At about the same time, Marshall Erickson (Jason’s character on How I Met Your Mother) was dealing with the loss of his father.  After the episode of his funeral, I just lay in bed and cried for hours until I finally fell asleep.  This was the first time I had really let myself cry, uninterrupted, since my dad’s diagnosis and it was exactly what I needed at the time.  The next day I felt like 500 tons had just been lifted off my chest and I was able to get on with life.  The acting was just absolutely amazing in this episode.  I still tear up whenever I see that episode.  It was definitely worthy of an Emmy or Golden Globe.  At least a nomination!  Jeez Louise, Hollywood.

I honestly could go through every movie or TV show on his IMDB page and give some anecdote as to why I think he’s great.  I think (or, in order to make myself feel less crazy, hope) that pretty much everyone has that kind of celebrity crush.  Obviously, nothing will come of these crushes.  If celebrity crushes were meant to be, my next birthday would be spent with my three best friends and Dr. Spencer Reid (for the sake of argument, fictional characters can be included), Rachel Bilson, and some odd breed of Leonardo diCaprio, Paul Rudd, Adam Brody, and JC Chavez (Seriously, Emily P., who exactly IS your celebrity crush?).  Any way, I have never thought in a serious way, “OMG, I’m meant to be with Jason Segel.”  Logically, that’s silly.  I’ve pretty much been able to write off any similarities between Jason’s characters and my life (with the exception of the Freaks and Geeks years, when I truly thought he was my soul mate), as coincidence.  That is until this morning when I woke up to see what had happened on all forms of social media the night before and found this from Jason Segel’s Twitter:

I’m not sure if you remember, after all the rambling.. But, you guys, that’s EXACTLY what I did on Valentine’s Day Night, minus the potato chips.  So… although he might not be my true soul mate (at least not in the romantic sense), I like to think that maybe he’s like my own comedic guardian angel sent here to make me laugh when I’m said and make me feel less pathetic about things like having a weird passion for speak-singing and watching Secretariat alone on Valentine’s Day.

I suppose after all of that, I should share information about the food.  This is a food blog, after all.

I use my mom’s recipe for pizza dough.  She usually make a big batch of the mix to keep in the freezer and it’s super handy.

Donelle’s Pizza Dough Mix (makes about 22 cups)

5 pounds wheat flour (for those of you who live in Aurora, the Grain Place sells whole wheat flour at Espressions Coffee Shop.  I think that’s what my mom usually uses.  You can also buy it at pretty much any grocery store in Lincoln)

3/4 cup sugar

4 teaspoon salt

1 cup instant nonfat dry milk

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl.  Put in a large airtight container.  Label.  Store in a cool, dry place.  Use within 8 months.

I lost the actual recipe for the dough, but this is what I’ve been doing:

3 cups Pizza Dough Mix

1 cup (maybe a little more) water

1 package quick rise yeast

1/4 cup (maybe a little more) oil (really any kind.  I usually use vegetable.  My mom uses peanut oil.  Last night I used olive oil)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees farenheit.  Put three cups of pizza mix in a large bowl.  In a smaller bowl, dissolve a package of yeast in a cup of warm water.  Stir together mix, water/yeast, and oil.  Sprinkle a flat surface with pizza mix and knead the dough until it forms a ball.  Put ball of dough back in large bowl and cover with a dish towel for about 20 minutes.  On a greased, sprayed, or oiled pan, roll out the dough and let sit for 5 minutes.  Spread pizza sauce and your choice of toppings. Bake in oven for 20-30 minutes.

When I started making the pizza last night, I had every intention of posting about it.  I have been trying SO hard to create a good pizza and it just never works out for me.  The main problem is that I have just a truly awful oven.  It’s really small and overheats anywhere from 50 to 150 degrees which causes inconsistency as far as times and burning goes.  I should just ask for a new oven, but my landlord bought a new one before I moved in.  It’s never worked properly, but I feel weird asking for a new one.  Any way, things were going my way last night and I was ready for the perfect pizza.  The dough had risen properly, my oven was within 50 degrees of the desired temperature, and to make things even better – I had fresh mozzarella left over from when I made lasagna not too long ago.  I browned the sausage (I used ground sweet Italian sausage.  I think next time I will try the hot instead of mild), layered the pepperonis over the sauce, sprinkled the sausage over the pepperoni, and cut the cheese to arrange over the sausage. [note: As I was doing a quick proofread of this I realized I had actually used the term “cut the cheese.”  I was going to change this, but then realized everybody who loves me also loves a fart joke, so I kept it in.  Also, before handling fresh mozzarella, I put it in the freezer for maybe 10 minutes.  This makes it easier to cut, grate, or slice.]  It never occured to me that I should check to see if there was anything different I needed to do to make a pizza with fresh mozzarella instead of grated mozzarella.  That was a big mistake.  When I went to rotate my pizza (if you have a regularly functioning oven, you don’t need to do this) at the halfway mark, i noticed the pan was filled with liquid.  After a quick Google, I realized that since fresh mozzarella is wet, when you put it on a pizza the water gets released.  So I poured the liquid into the sink and put the pizza back in the oven.  The dough was a little soggy, and there were places that the liquid had burned onto the pan, but I have to admit the pizza was amazing.  It really was the best pizza I’ve ever made in my apartment.  The sausage and pepperoni worked great together.  The dough was perfect.  It just all turned out amazing.  Next time I’ll probably try to follow instructions on how to do the cheese.  Google sent me here:  http://www.ehow.com/how_8288916_put-fresh-whole-mozzarella-pizza.html.  Also, I sprinkled Italian seasoning and parsley on top of the cheese and chopped up a few cloves of garlic to cook with the sausage.

Please excuse the old bananas... I'm making banana bread tomorrow!

 

Admit it, your Valentine's Day would've been more fun had you consumed boxed wine from a TMNT glass.

I’m going to try to be more consistent with my posting.  So far, it’s been pretty random.  I’m also going to try to make my posts more polished.  I’ve noticed I use a lot of parenthesis and ramblings and I KNOW my sentence/paragraph/grammatical structure is not always proper.  Hopefully if I get on a more regular schedule and my posts aren’t so sporadic (Thank you, Cher Horowitz), I can be the blogger I’ve always dreamed of being.  Happy Belated Valentine’s Day, Everyone!  Also, I might try to steal my parent’s digital camera back so I can have slightly better than iPod quality pictures.

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One thought on “How I Jason Segel became my Funny Valentine (and also, homemade pizza)

  1. Pingback: An Introvert’s Musings on the Omaha Color Run « Such Great Bites

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